Life is a choice. Bummer, huh? It takes me ten minutes to figure out what I want on the Taco Bell menu. It's a thousand times harder when I have to decide something important. It's easier not having to decide. Sometimes when I send my husband to the grocery store (eh hem, I would not suggest this), he calls me and asks me what kind of ice cream I want. "I trust your judgment," I tell him. Don't read the flavors to me if you don't want to drain your cell phone battery.
Making decisions about spiritual issues makes Taco Bell seem like nuthin'. The funny thing about spiritual matters is, the decisions are usually pretty obvious. If somebody held up an ice cream cone and a salt lick, you wouldn't have a hard time deciding which one to grab. Spirituality is a lot like that, at least from my perspective. You can either do what God says and have a happy life, or NOT do what God says and struggle. But being the person that I am, I have to lick both the ice cream and the salt a few times first.
I have always believed IN God, but have had a hard time BELIEVING God. I know He's there. I believe He created the universe and the color pink and my cat's wet little nose. No problem. I just haven't always believed He would take care of me. My childhood was miserable but I don't resent any of the players involved anymore. It's just...gone. Those issues completely disappeared with no help from me. The only person left to resent was God, who allowed those things to happen.
When I was little, one of my brothers and I used to put a towel on the stairs and go sliding down as fast as we could. It was all fun and games until I smashed my face on a piece of furniture at the bottom of the stairs. After that, I didn't want to go stair-surfing anymore. I have always felt that my relationship with God was similar. He let go; I got hurt; Let's not do that again.
Then try having an illness that makes you feel depressed, angry, and hopeless against your will, all while the Bible says that Christians are supposed to be the opposite. Where is God in that?
But God says He keeps His promises, which means He either means it, or He's a liar. And so I have been looking into the things God promises, and the things He does not. For one thing, He doesn't promise a problem-free life. If anything, He promises that things here are going to be rough. John 16:33 says:
Going through life expecting a problem-free existence is foolish and not at all what Jesus told us to expect. So getting angry at God because we have pain doesn't make sense... especially considering we make a lot of our own pain.
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
God HAS promised the following:
-God will meet our needs
Needs... not to be confused with luxuries. (Phil. 4:19)
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
-God promises that His grace is sufficient for us.
In other words, God's grace is all you need. (2 Cor. 12:9)
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
-God will always provide a way out of temptation.
I think this should be called "the teenager verse" because it reminds of what my parents used to say when I was a teen: "If you're ever in a bad situation, call us and we'll pick you up, no questions asked." God works the same way. (1 Cor. 10:13)
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
-God has promised us victory over death.
The death and resurrection of Jesus Christ sealed eternity for believers. We don't end at the grave. (1 Cor. 15:3-4)
For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, 4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures,
-God promises that all things work together for the good of people who love and service Him.
This is the hardest one to grasp because it's not easy to see why God allows people to die young, in terrible ways, etc. (Romans 8:28)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Nope. Nothing in there about having a trouble-free existence. Bummer.
But has He kept His promises to me? Has He met my needs? Has his grace been sufficient for me? Have I seen good come out of my darkest days? I can answer all of that with a confident "yes." So I've decided it's time to drop my defenses and believe God. It might not be an overnight process; it may take a good bit of work. But I see how God has taken care of me, I have seen that He is real, and I want more of Him. That means being honest about how I feel and admitting that I've been angry and resentful towards him.
I started this morning off by reading a bit of Praying God's Word by Beth Moore. This caught my attention:
God applies the same power to our need that He exerted when He raised Christ from the dead. Does your stronghold require more power than it takes to raise the dead? Neither does mine! God can do it, fellow believer. I know because He says so. And I know because He's done it for me. Believe Him...and when you don't, cry out earnestly, "Help me overcome my unbelief!"
Read that also leads me to believe that the same God who put up with the antics of Thomas and who watched His own son suffer and die on the cross is strong enough to hear my anger and fear. He's big enough. When we don't give those things to God, we're basically saying we don't think He can handle it.
HELLO. HE'S GOD.
I'm not carrying this around anymore. Gimme the ice cream cone. The choice is obvious, at least from where I sit. I want to try some of God's goodness because I've been a tired girl and I don't think I can get through another day without the sweetness of God's grace.
It seems like a lot to lift off my shoulders, but it's nothing to God.
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