Thursday, February 23, 2012

Politix



You know what makes me want to slap a puppy? This time of year. I don't mean February, winter, or the time before Dec. 21, 2012 when the apocalypse hits or - worse - cell towers go down. I mean the time of year right before an election. Ew. I hate it. Politics make me angry, and being angry makes me mean, and Christians shouldn't be mean. But, look, it's not even spring yet and I'm already talking about assaulting pets.

I don't know who I support yet. Seriously? I'm a little worried I'll never figure it out, and then where does my vote go? I've always believed that 'real Americans' vote. This time around I'm feeling more and more like a foreigner. I know who I DON'T like but I want to vote in favor of someone and not against them. (Ooooh, I think I just gave my affiliation away!) It doesn't matter to me what party a candidate belongs to - if I believe in their ideas, I'll give them my vote.... and that's exactly the problem right now.

Over time, I've arrived at the conclusion that nobody is right anyway. The left, the right, whatever - nobody knows. It's all relative. By today's standards, it's all relative and based on whose followers annoy you the most. You can look at either side and say, "Those people are morons!" You can look at any candidate and call them worse. But I think, maybe, we're all morons and worse and we just like fighting about it.

Ever wonder what the Civil War might have looked like with modern technology and social networking? Take away the physical war part and that's pretty much what you've got today. Brother against brother, father against son... brothers against sisters, if you're in my family.

I was gonna jump on the Santorum/Obama/theology thing here but then I thought about those poor droopy-eyed puppy dogs and decided to just end it here.

That's my rant. Let's all give up politics for Lent, shall we?




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Monday, February 20, 2012

What NOT to Say to Childless Women

How do I say this nicely? Lord, you know it's not going to be an easy blog post when I have to start it like that. It's really late and I have major plans for tomorrow (cleaning) so I can't go into this in too much detail, but my head will explode if I don't at least say something.

Church moms, you mean well, you really do. You want to be helpful. You want to be comforting. But sometimes you don't get it.

First, you make the mistake of assuming that infertile women are despondent over it, even though some of us have accepted our fate and are completely at peace with the fact that we will never swell up like a balloon or scream our way through childbirth. It's cool. We're good. God has other plans for us. We're super glad you were able to reproduce 7 times, but it's not going to happen for us.

Your bigger mistake, though, is assuming that childless women would LOVE to watch yours, or spend their spare time helping out with the children's ministry at church. Some of us only like kids that are biologically related to us. For example, I adore my nieces and nephews. I'm not in love with everyone else's. I don't DISLIKE kids, but I don't want to spend a lot of time with the ones that aren't related to me. Other women really ARE sad about not having kids, so what makes you think they'd like to have their sad reality shoved in their faces over and over again?

Really, women. You mean well. But you don't get it.

It's also a bad idea to imply that a childless woman has no responsibilities and all the time in the world to do grunt work that you personally don't have the time to do. Some of us work a lot. Some of us have lives. Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but I tell you the truth. We're proud of you for homeschooling. We're sorry each of your 5 kids has a sporting event on the same night. But please remember, we're not forcing you to lead the life you're leading, nor did we ask to be infertile. The idea of a nursery full of children can be absolutely heartbreaking to an infertile woman!

This is all stuff I don't think about very much until someone says the wrong thing, and it's almost always because people just don't understand. They are in a completely different phase of life where everything is about school projects, carpools, and teaching Sunday school. I can't imagine the amount of time, patience, and sleep deprivation that is required to raise a family of any size. Moms, you have my respect. I was like you once - I grew up diapering Cabbage Patch Kids, and dreaming of what I'd name my kids someday. I really wanted the hectic family lifestyle that you have.

But all I have...is a cat. A cat, and ministry, and my writing, and helping my elderly parents, and... well, trust me. I have a life. It's not what I planned, but it's what GOD gave me, and I have plenty of love in my life, believe me.

I don't want to fill in my "spare" time with other people's little children, nor do I just watch TV all day and have no responsibilities.

Let me put it this way - I totally want to help you. We're sisters in Christ. We're meant to help each other. But ya'll had to get schooled on what being a childless woman is all about. Don't assume stuff. So far, everything others have assumed about my life has been so insanely OFF. (The whole reason I'm writing this is because of someone saying something totally weird to me over the weekend.) Think, gals. Then, when you're done with that, speak. Better yet, PRAY first. A woman who can't have a child probably doesn't want to work in a room full of infants. And when you don't have kids, you find ways to spend your time. Believe it or not, there IS life outside of child-rearing.

Prayer and common sense. Prayer and common sense. C'mon, guys! We can do it! Make me proud! Stop saying dumb stuff to me, ok?










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Thursday, February 2, 2012

Pinterest Eat

OH BABY, OH BABY, OH BABY! Pinned anything good lately?



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Wag The Dog


I lost one of my aunts a few weeks ago. If we're being honest, I lost her a long time ago. Alzheimer's stole my aunt's sweet and chipper personality and the amazing musical talent she possessed. If you don't believe in the devil, spend some time around Alzheimer's disease. It really is an unholy illness.

Like most of my family members, my aunt lived far away and I got to see her rarely. It had been 13 years since I had seen her face, though we had always been "close" - as close as you can be from opposite ends of the country. Our relationship mostly involved pen and paper (she never really got into email.)

I was telling a good friend about the long-distance relationship. Ironically, the good friend also lives far away. She commented that most of my "close" friends are, in fact, the long-distance kind and asked if I had ever given that any thought. Stinkin' sisters in the Lord - always trying to get you to be a better person and whatnot. ::snort:: I have given it a lot of thought. It just happens to be one of those thoughts I reflect on for a split second, don't like how it makes me feel, and then push it away and think about kittens and chocolate and stuff.

If someone needs me, I'll be there. I'll pick you up at your doctor's appointment. I'll listen to your problems. I'll watch your ki... pets. I'll do anything for anyone, I just don't like having to need anyone, and I really don't like having to pour myself into a relationship that might result in that person figuring out that I'm flawed and weird and don't like to cook and have toothpaste in my sink. My husband, after 11 years, knows those things about me. Other people just suspect it because they don't get the chance to find out for themselves.


But I feel like God wants me - wants us - to be transparent and kinda daring. That's the way you have to live if you want to have a rich faith life. Do you want a walk with God? A real walk - the kind where you walk together and are heading in the same direction for the same reason? Or do you want the kind of walk my dad always had with our miniature Schnauzer, Winston - always tugging and snapping and trying to run ahead. My dad knew running out onto the highway was a bad idea, but Winston thought it was an awesome idea!

Is that what we want?

God won't heal you and make you more like Himself if you won't let Him. God doesn't force us to eat our green beans. And you can't have real faith without being daring. Being daring allows you to believe in someone you can't see, touch, or hear. It's what tells you to hold on when the world says give up. It's what gives you the backbone to tell another person ABOUT God.

I've had to take a step back and acknowledge, yes, I avoid the close relationships. I have to admit, too... God hasn't always had the red carpet treatment in my life.

I'm changing that.
Where does God fit in your life and relationships?




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