For the Love of Mummy

I sometimes gripe about my mom on here but truth be told, I love her dearly. Yes, she drives me a little nuts from time to time but she makes my life entertaining. It's easy to freak my mom out. Take for example, the red streak in my hair. Well, she didn't "freak" but she was unhappy.

The first anniversary of my 30th birthday is coming up at the beginning of May. (Shut up, that's how I choose to look at it.) For my 30th birthday, I gave myself a belated gift by having breast reduction surgery. This year, I want a tattoo. Oh, and a tiny diamond stud in my nose.

I should have just gotten it done and not said a word to my mother. She has terrible eyesight - I could have gotten away with the stud, at least. I'm a glutton for punishment. That, and it can be amusing to watch the expressions on my mom's face change. Thing is, I was expecting a firm, "Oh, Julie" but instead she told me if I ever get a stud in my nose (somehow a lifelong tattoo is better than a removable stud?) that I should never come over to her her house because I won't be welcome there.

Don't think my mom is irrational... even though she kind of is. She's not being cruel. Well, maybe she might be. But I'm not hurt. I'm amused. I was a troubled teenager but I never really did anything crazy to my appearance, other than stealing my dad's flannel shirts. FOR GOD'S SAKE, I WAS AN AMY GRANT FAN!! My brothers had mullets. One brother stopped combing his hair for a long period of time in college, though I can't remember why. The reason my mom is freaking out over MY planned changes in appearance... is because I am officially "in my thirties." In her world, women over the age of 35 should have short hair and always cover their legs. I'm only four years away from the mark.

I'll admit, I am feeling a bit... feisty. I don't feel like I'm a thirty-something and most people tell me I don't look like it, either. I've been married since I was barely 21. We've struggled financially, we have the worst car luck in the world, and it took me until about 2 months ago to start doing what I've always wanted to do for a living on a full-time basis. I don't have kids and I CAN'T have them. I can afford to do something out-of-the-ordinary (by my family's standards anyway) I just feel like doing something something... weird. It's not like I'm having an affair or trying out life as a Hare Krishna!

Let me have my nose stud. Let me get my tattoo. Who's it gonna kill, huh? If I were feeling REALLY feisty, I'd tattoo "MOM" on my shoulder but that's taking it a little too far. I get a chuckle imagining myself with a giant bull ring hanging out of my nose. Boy, oh boy. BOY, OH BOY!!!

My husband and I are pretty demented and we like to prank my mom in all sorts of ways. I think she's convinced this is all a prank. Sort of like when Scott and I were dating and we wanted to get a bag from the maternity clothing store in the mall and fill it full of stuff and leave it on my bed for her to see. (We never did it, though. I couldn't be responsible for a heart attack.)

All in favor of Julie getting a stud in her nose and a tattoo on her shoulder, say "AYE!" Pin It

Thoughts on Christmas, God, and Other Stuff

So this is Christmas, and what have you done?
Well, I've got my decorations out but no tree yet. My friend and I are like two little kids awaiting the first snowfall. Maybe Sunday??? I've lived here all my life, apart from that brief stint in Tennessee, and snow is elusive. There were a few years when it seemed like the snow would never end, but that's rare. Some people say a black cloud follows them everywhere they go, but I used to think the sun followed me, preventing snow from ever falling.

And here you thought the sun following you around all the time would be awesome.
Tomato, TO-MAH-TO.
Depends who you ask.

Last night was a bad night. I was about to write Christmas '09 off entirely. Our best pals possibly (probably) moving away, family crap I can't really write about, low funds and no job prospects... It's amazing what a hot shower can do for your spirit. I do my best thinking in the shower. Anyway, I came out thinking, OK, it's Christmas. I'm going to think about the wonderful things in my life, instead of the depressing stuff.
I'm going to be a godmother in the spring.
I'm going to be an aunt again in the spring.
I have a wonderful husband and a wonderful marriage.
I have a lovely home.
I have new boobs. (Sorry - had to throw that in there. Breast reduction really did make my year.)
I have a SAVIOR who loves me and wants to give me an abundant life filled with hope and PURPOSE.

When I frame it that way, the Christmas lights seem extra sparkly, you know?

What are you praying for these days? Me, I'm praying for breakthroughs. A breakthrough in finances, a breakthrough in work, a breakthrough for different people I love who are hurting. I am the quintessential stubborn Christian. When I should be praying, I am trying to force things to happen. When I should be silent, I'm flapping my gums. So I guess I should also be praying for a breakthrough in my prayer life and my self-control.

My cousin's death in September has made an interesting impact on me. On the one hand, I'm sad that he's gone and heartbroken that his family is without him. But the way he lived out his last days also struck me. You know, most of us aren't half as productive during our "living years" (I call it that because the majority of us have no idea how long we have here on earth) as Jay was during his dying days. When I feel like giving up, when I feel like my life doesn't matter, when I feel like being lazy and not even trying, I think about Jay, and it gives me fresh energy.

Can you imagine how easy death would be if we truly considered it moving away vs. leaving forever? On a grander scale, mind you, but the same basic concept. I think about our friend Mark & Jen moving away and it breaks my heart. I desperately want them to stay, but I know if they go, it's not like I'll never see them again. I will see them eventually. And that's what keeps me from completely falling apart. God, could you open our hearts to see death in the same way? To not just know it on an intellectual level, but to believe it with all our hearts and souls?

As I'm writing this, I'm watching my cat, who is sleeping face-first in the couch. Oh, to have the worry-less life of a house pet. And yet, if I really lived out the Word - not worrying, completely trusting in God, believing fully that God is for me and not against me - that's the kind of life I'd have.

Bring on the breakthrough! Pin It