For the Love of Mummy

I sometimes gripe about my mom on here but truth be told, I love her dearly. Yes, she drives me a little nuts from time to time but she makes my life entertaining. It's easy to freak my mom out. Take for example, the red streak in my hair. Well, she didn't "freak" but she was unhappy.

The first anniversary of my 30th birthday is coming up at the beginning of May. (Shut up, that's how I choose to look at it.) For my 30th birthday, I gave myself a belated gift by having breast reduction surgery. This year, I want a tattoo. Oh, and a tiny diamond stud in my nose.

I should have just gotten it done and not said a word to my mother. She has terrible eyesight - I could have gotten away with the stud, at least. I'm a glutton for punishment. That, and it can be amusing to watch the expressions on my mom's face change. Thing is, I was expecting a firm, "Oh, Julie" but instead she told me if I ever get a stud in my nose (somehow a lifelong tattoo is better than a removable stud?) that I should never come over to her her house because I won't be welcome there.

Don't think my mom is irrational... even though she kind of is. She's not being cruel. Well, maybe she might be. But I'm not hurt. I'm amused. I was a troubled teenager but I never really did anything crazy to my appearance, other than stealing my dad's flannel shirts. FOR GOD'S SAKE, I WAS AN AMY GRANT FAN!! My brothers had mullets. One brother stopped combing his hair for a long period of time in college, though I can't remember why. The reason my mom is freaking out over MY planned changes in appearance... is because I am officially "in my thirties." In her world, women over the age of 35 should have short hair and always cover their legs. I'm only four years away from the mark.

I'll admit, I am feeling a bit... feisty. I don't feel like I'm a thirty-something and most people tell me I don't look like it, either. I've been married since I was barely 21. We've struggled financially, we have the worst car luck in the world, and it took me until about 2 months ago to start doing what I've always wanted to do for a living on a full-time basis. I don't have kids and I CAN'T have them. I can afford to do something out-of-the-ordinary (by my family's standards anyway) I just feel like doing something something... weird. It's not like I'm having an affair or trying out life as a Hare Krishna!

Let me have my nose stud. Let me get my tattoo. Who's it gonna kill, huh? If I were feeling REALLY feisty, I'd tattoo "MOM" on my shoulder but that's taking it a little too far. I get a chuckle imagining myself with a giant bull ring hanging out of my nose. Boy, oh boy. BOY, OH BOY!!!

My husband and I are pretty demented and we like to prank my mom in all sorts of ways. I think she's convinced this is all a prank. Sort of like when Scott and I were dating and we wanted to get a bag from the maternity clothing store in the mall and fill it full of stuff and leave it on my bed for her to see. (We never did it, though. I couldn't be responsible for a heart attack.)

All in favor of Julie getting a stud in her nose and a tattoo on her shoulder, say "AYE!" Pin It