Last night was a no good, very bad night. I didn't sleep at all. I didn't doze off here and there. I didn't sleep AT ALL. And my muscles were sore. And this morning I was so nauseous I could
barely sip my coffee.
I must have forgotten to take my Seroquel.
For someone my age, I take quite a few meds. I'm diabetic (my fault/genetic) and hypertensive (genetic) and have restless leg syndrome (who knows). And then there's bipolar disorder. I was tired and it was late last night when I took my fistful of drugs. Sometimes I mistake the Glipizide (for diabetes) for Seroquel. I take 2 Glipizide. Sometimes I look into my hand and think I have them both because they look almost identical.
First thing I did after almost vomiting my coffee was take a Seroquel. It will probably make me sleepy, and I can't sleep today. Deadlines. But I'm no good if I'm sick, either. Withdrawal doesn't make for a pleasant day.
Even though I encourage people to take these meds if they need them, it does sometimes strike me how crappy it is to have to take pills in order to be a functioning human being. There are people who fall asleep with no help, get out of bed with no help, and lead stable lives with no help.
I can't say I'm not the tiniest bit jealous.
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2 comments:
We all need help in one way or another. Those who don't need "help" are blessed, but few and far between. Some do things like have a drink before going to bed. Others stop drinking caffeine at a certain hour. Some read, drink warm milk, do relaxation techniques, PRAY even (what a concept! lol)...etc.
Finally, I truly believe that God orchestrated the creation of medications to help us so if you really think about it, it is God helping you :) What a loving God we serve!
Blessings!!
Cant remember how I came across your blog. Oh yes I do! The BipolarDisorder Daily!
Anyways, I am newly diagnosed with Bipolar 2, and I have a raft of other health conditions. I take 19 pills a day, plus a weekly skin patch that gives me a narcotic pain killer. I HATE having to take these pills, but all hell breaks loose if I forget them.
If I forget any one of them I have immediate repercussions, from either withdrawals or pain, or being crazy.
I am jealous of people who need no meds, who have a completely healthy life. It must be nice..
I'm very interested in what you have to say about living with Bipolar, so I'm off to read some more!
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