"You Put Too Much Out There"

I was talking to my mother last night - she calls every other day to inform me I don't call her often enough - and somehow the topic of social networking came up. My mother doesn't get social networking. She doesn't even get email. I love her dearly, but... one of my brothers got her a cell phone for Christmas a few years ago and she never even made a call from it because the numbers were too small and she didn't know which button to press to put the call through.

Despite not understanding it, she told me that Facebook is "stupid." Now, I was proud of her in a way because she got the name right. Usually she calls it "Facespace" or "Myface" or "Spacebook." That's beside the point. Anyway, I don't know how or why it came up, but she said, "You know, your brother (we'll call him "Joe") says you put way too much out there on your Facebook."

Oh, mother, I thought. You've obviously never read my blog!
Not to mention...Brother Joe puts far worse things on HIS Facebook that would really cheese my mother off if she knew. AGAIN, that's beside the point.

But what is being referred to here is not photos or Youtube videos or anything like that. The problem here is... I put too much EMOTION out there. That's the conniption. We're not what you would call a syrupy-sweet family. We love each other, we tell each other all the time, but we're not particularly sentimental. Trauma and regrets and anything unpleasant are best kept nicely under the rug. That, and my brothers are - SHOCK - men. Men don't do the emotional thing very well.

Maybe I say too much, maybe I don't. What I do know is that being open and "putting a lot out there" is what made me a popular blogger back in the day, and it's what landed me a book deal. It's what allows me to relate to other people's hurts and minister to them.

I yam what I yam and I put it out there and if somebody doesn't like it, they don't have to read it. I yam what I yam. I actually practice a good bit of restraint in my blogging, but when it comes to what makes me, me... I don't hold back.

Everyone OK with that? Anyone got a problem with that? Anyone want to call my mom and tell her what I just said?

ThanksIdidn'tthinkso. Pin It

Sleep Is For People Too Wimpy To Drink Coffee By The Pot

Sleep hates me. What is UP? I think my hormones must be ganging up on me or something. Some women cramp up and crave chocolate once a month, I just turn into a drooling zombie. No biggie. Just make sure you lock your doors at night.

Kind of a crazy week/month or so for me. I feel like I'm going through some growing pains. Heh - or maybe I need a med change, who knows. I'm reevaluating. Looking around, taking it all in. Reconsidering. Kicking myself. A whole bunch of stuff. Learning how little I really knew about things I thought I knew pretty well. Finding that part of me doubts that God's Truth is powerful enough to swallow up some incredible darkness I find myself and other people that I love in... and knowing it's stupid to doubt because - HELLO - He created the universe.

You know what has hit me in the face OVER AND OVER AND OVER since right before Christmas? I. DO. NOT. HAVE. ANSWERS. TO. EVERYTHING. I'm seeing marriages fall apart and it doesn't seem like conventional wisdom or any of the stuff I put in my book even remotely applies. I'm watching my niece trying to get her life together but she's out in the wild and the wolves are circling and I don't know how to tell her about God without creeping her out and making her run away from Him entirely. Some people I care about... have turned out to be different people than I thought.

I wandered into a brand new Christian bookstore this evening, just for the heck of it. No money to spend, really, just wanted to look around. I love Christian bookstores - I could spend all day in one. It's comforting somehow. It's peaceful.

Tonight it gave me a feeling I had lost touch with lately... like a little bandaid on a big old, question mark-shaped tear on my heart. Pin It

I'm Alive

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. It goes in spurts with me.

Life is busy. I'm up late, unable to sleep, stomach a mess, head pounding. Lots on my mind.

I started a new job yesterday, waiting tables. It's very daunting to me. I'm an outgoing people person who is scared to death of pouring coffee on somebody's head or dumping chicken pot pie on somebody's lap. Talk more? Talk less? Which will get me the better tip?

Been playing lots of Guitar/Band Hero & writing songs again. The lyrics come easy but the music... not so much. Oh well.

More when I'm not feeling like roadkill. Pin It