Bobby Ross over at GetReligion has some interesting comments on this story about one of my favorite subjects - Christians trying to find their designated 'spot' among their fellow churchgoers.
As a married-but-childless woman in her 30's, I tend to gravitate towards the older crowd and single people. The reasons, I think, are obvious - they don't have to find a babysitter in order to make plans, and I don't have to listen to pregnancy/childbirth/parenting stories that I'm not only unable to relate to, but remind me time and time again that my dream of motherhood has not come to pass.
-Not all childless women are childless on purpose.
-Some women don't want kids at all - and you can feel however you want about that and back it up with Scripture, but the point is, you should never assume anything.
-When a woman says she can't have children, sympathy is great. Immediately acting like the world has ended isn't a good approach. You mean well, but you might be grinding salt into an open wound.
-Don't suggest to an infertile woman that she should volunteer in the nursery. See above.
-Childless women don't have all the spare time in the world. Well, maybe some. But most of us have learned to fill in the time.
-Many infertile women have accepted that it is God's will for their lives and are OK WITH IT. Check before you fawn.
-Hey, since churches have singles groups, why not have a group for people without kids? Just a group - not a SUPPORT group, or a SYMPATHY group, or a GRIEF group... just a regular group.
Next up... how about we make people with mental illness feel like a part of the church body while we're at it? Stay tuned.
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As a married-but-childless woman in her 30's, I tend to gravitate towards the older crowd and single people. The reasons, I think, are obvious - they don't have to find a babysitter in order to make plans, and I don't have to listen to pregnancy/childbirth/parenting stories that I'm not only unable to relate to, but remind me time and time again that my dream of motherhood has not come to pass.
The Rev. Kevin Cosby, pastor of St. Stephen Church, said his congregation is trying to create a culture in which “you’re not abnormal if you’re single.”
“One is a whole number,” he said. “You’re not a fraction.”Hopefully Rev. Cosby is also working on normalizing childlessness in the church because infertiles like myself are awfully tired of being told to work in the nursery. We appreciate sympathy, but get annoyed when moms assume we have all the free time in the world to play with. In fact, all pastors everywhere should preach a sermon aimed at teaching their congregations that:
-Not all childless women are childless on purpose.
-Some women don't want kids at all - and you can feel however you want about that and back it up with Scripture, but the point is, you should never assume anything.
-When a woman says she can't have children, sympathy is great. Immediately acting like the world has ended isn't a good approach. You mean well, but you might be grinding salt into an open wound.
-Don't suggest to an infertile woman that she should volunteer in the nursery. See above.
-Childless women don't have all the spare time in the world. Well, maybe some. But most of us have learned to fill in the time.
-Many infertile women have accepted that it is God's will for their lives and are OK WITH IT. Check before you fawn.
-Hey, since churches have singles groups, why not have a group for people without kids? Just a group - not a SUPPORT group, or a SYMPATHY group, or a GRIEF group... just a regular group.
Next up... how about we make people with mental illness feel like a part of the church body while we're at it? Stay tuned.
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