For almost 7 months now, I've been having an interesting health issue. I've been dealing with this thing called pulsatile tinnitus. Have you ever hung upside-down and heard the "whoosh-whoosh" of your heartbeat in your ears? That's what it is - 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I've also been lightheaded, had headaches, been forgetful, and have had constant pressure in my ears and head. I know it has been 7 months, because it started as soon as I quit smoking. How do you like that? A woman gives up one of the world's unhealthiest habits, and winds up feeling a million times worse.

I am a diabetic and a bipolar disorder sufferer, so naturally I assumed the PT was related to one or both of those things. Maybe it is. I don't know. Nobody knows. The doctors don't know. What I do know is, I don't take any Lithium at all anymore (was taking 900 mgs/day), my Seroquel dose has been cut in half, and that hasn't helped. High glucose, low glucose - it doesn't seem to matter. I just whoosh.

I went to see an ear/nose/throat doctor last week. An Otolaryngologist. After a bunch of hearing tests, ear pressure tests, looking in my ears, up my nose, and down my throat (I'm surprised he didn't make me ride a hippity-hop in a pink tutu), he told me what I'd already figured out by researching myself online: I have pulsatile tinnitus. Pulsatile tinnitus isn't a condition, it's a symptom OF a condition, he said.

Oh, and my eyes didn't want to follow his finger.
You know, the finger test. The doctor moves his finger in front of your eyes in the shape of an H, really slow. He says, "Follow my finger." I couldn't follow his finger. So now it's off to a neurologist! My health insurance company loves me.

I came home that night and made Scott do the finger test on me about a thousand times. My left eye is especially uncooperative. I started doing the finger test on myself. You can't really do a visual exam on yourself, though, try as I may. I tried to videotape myself doing the test on my phone, but all you could see was my finger moving. I'm forced to take the ENT's (and my husband's) word for it.

If I wanted to put money on it, I'd say my diabetes probably messed with my optic nerves or something like that, but there's always that little part of me that wonders if I'm walking around with a tumor, aneurysm, or some other diagnosis I can't pronounce.

Serenity now!

I've actually found a community of people online who also have PT, which is cool. Whooshers.com is where whooshers like mah-self gather to slowly go mad together from the sound of our own heartbeats. You'd think hearing your heartbeat would be a good thing. Huh. Go figure.

I'm not really scared. It is what it is. God is going to sit on His throne and be a good God regardless of what's wrong with me. But it is sooooooooooooooo frustrating trying to figure out what is going on. Even more frustrating trying to concentrate with WHOOSH-WHOOSH-WHOOSH-WHOOSH going on in your head all day.

This weekend was a good one, though. Softer whooshing, no pain, and I didn't feel the need to hold onto the wall a lot. I even went for a (very brief) swim at the rec center. I made the most of it.

Neurologist appointment is in May. I'm having an MRI and something called an MRA done in the meantime. I just have to figure out how to function while I wait on all this stuff. I'm starting this week by interviewing a couple of attorneys for a story I'm writing, so hopefully I'll be able to hear them over the sound of my own head.







 

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