Merry Ho Ho Or Whatever

In the words of Roseanne Barr: "It's beginning to look a lot like crap!"

'Tis the Christmas season, and I'm trying to get into it. Trying, because my wallet is starving and every time I open it, I hear a scream. I sold one of my cars today (one that didn't run) but the money was accounted for before it even reached my husband's grasp. I know that Christmas is not about money or gifts, but ever year I think to myself that maybe NEXT YEAR we can buy that huge tree and not freak out every time we purchase a Christmas gift.

Kids, stay in school and go to college. Just a tip from your very poor Auntie Julie.

Now, that's not to say you can't make your crib look decent on a next-to-nothing budget. It is possible. The dollar store is my best friend. I have a snowman fetish, so I'm always on the prowl for more to add to my collection, and I'm picky about it. I don't want it to LOOK like it's dollar store material, you know? If you look hard enough, you can find cute stuff. I found a beautiful table runner for $2.99 today and Santa salt shakers for even less.

Still, I dream.
My dream is to have an A-frame log home on a nice piece of land. A fireplace, maybe two. High ceilings to allow for a 12-foot tree (or larger!) An actual mantel filled with live greens and holly and candles out the wazoo! A place big enough for the entire family to convene for Christmas dinner.

Most of the time, if you tell people you're low on dough, they don't get what that means. They're like, "Oh yeah, we're struggling, too." And then they go on to tell you they had to cut their vacation to France short by two days, or it's hard to fill the tank in their Cadillac Escalade or something. One friend complained about how hard it is to pay her $13,000-per-month utility bill. (You know I love you, but this was the best example I could come up with!) When I use the term "broke" I mean I'm counting out change to buy a pack of gum.

Ho ho ho!

This is not my way of bashing rich people. I know a few rich people and they're all really cool. I'm just saying, it's all relative, and your idea of "broke" goes along with the standard of living you're used to.

I don't usually feel this way at Christmas, though I have had very few Christmases where I was really rolling in the dough. I find that I am trying to "do it up" more than usual this year, I guess because I feel an extra sense of loss this Christmas of 2009. I can't even go into all of it for various reasons, but I've blogged about many of those reasons, and I assure you, Prozac gets a lot of credit for helping me maintain my sense of humor right now.

The annual Christmas Eve party will be held December 27 this year, and I'm hoping that a quiet night with my husband will allow me to reflect on what really counts - the Son of God, born to die for our sins, who came to earth in the humblest of ways to bear the weight of the sadness, the loss, and the disappointment that all of us feel at different times in our lives.

If I can just get THAT in my scope, hopefully I can tune the rest out. Pin It