There's Something In The Water

Married people are losing their minds. I see it all around me. What has the government unleashed into our water system? You know things are bad when I seem like the sane one.

People get divorced for all sorts of reasons. As a "marriage expert", it is my job to tell you that divorce is wrong and you should erase it from your marital vocabulary. Ninety-five percent of the time, I believe that. It's the remaining 5% that scares me. Every now and then I meet a couple that just makes me stop in my tracks and say, "Really?!? You two tied the knot?!?" And you have that sense that without a really expensive therapist or Jesus Christ himself descending on their living room, it's just... never gonna work.

That's not usually the case, though. Not lately, anyhow. What we have here is a case of Spouses Gone Wild. They're not just getting divorced, they're losing their minds. They're not just being poor spouses, they're being the exact OPPOSITE of what the Bible calls them to be. I can't blame non-Christians for that behavior, but Christians ought to know better. But they don't.

It wouldn't freak me out so much if it was one person acting badly, but it seems like an epidemic. I've got friends leaving their spouses for people of the same sex, people leaving to hook up with rapists (I'm not even kidding about that one),I've got one friend turning into a drunk even as her two young children stand by and watch, and there's kinky stuff going on. I've got friends with porn addictions, friends with porn addictions who are denying that it's an addiction at all, people leaving their mates to venture out on some personal crusade to test the grass that seems so much greener on the other side. Friends giving up really good things in return for crap. God is giving these people gifts, and they are tossing them out the window in exchange for curses. They're dragging secular thought and belief into their Christian marriages and then wondering why it sucks.

I know what it's like to have a terrible marriage, to want to run away, and what it is like to sin and screw up so badly that it seems like everything is lost. But God's mercies are new every day. If you walk away from the Truth, you can always turn around and go back to it. I haven't always chosen wisely, but what I am seeing and hearing is blowing my mind.

Christians are supposed to be set apart. That doesn't mean we don't make mistakes or have perfect relationships. What it means is that we STRIVE and WORK and TRY and give up our own selfish needs for the needs of our mate, and for the glory of God. We come to our senses and walk away from sexual perversity, from bad advice from unbelievers, and instead of looking to Oprah, we look to God's Word as a marriage guide.

You know what? Don't read my book. Not first. If your marriage is sinking into a deep, dark hole, read the Bible first. Do a study on marriage. See what it tells you to do, and then do it. If you can't for some reason, get with people who can help you. STRIVE, WORK, TRY.

Be IN the world, but not OF it. Pin It

Ready For Healthy?

My house is stocked with healthy food. The patch goes on tomorrow. I rejoined the rec center. I am ready to exercise. All I need now is a sports bra that fits and a pair of shorts that don't ride up. Adamame beans and running, here I come.

The discount grocery store we frequent is a great place to get fat. If you want candy, cookies, chips, and Doritos, that's the place to go. Today I went to pick up shampoo and body wash and apparently God (or maybe Richard Simmons) was smiling upon my shopping list. Frozen broccoli (and not just the nasty stems), the aforementioned adamame beans, frozen strawberries and blueberries, all $.99 each. I loaded up. Granola to go with yogurt and fresh peaches also found its way into my cart, not to mention super ripe, super yummy-looking tomatoes.

I also learned from my sister-in-law - whose children are incredibly picky eaters - and my friend Rachael how to fool yourself into eating healthy stuff. Husband doesn't notice the flax seed meal I put in the spaghetti sauce and chances are he won't notice the carrots when I pulverize them and add them, too. I can also grind broccoli to a pulp.

I lost 40 pounds doing the same thing in 2003. I was swimming daily, too. That's my plan for going back to the rec center. Swimming is easy on your joints, and no one can see your fat butt underwater unless they're really looking, and that would mean swimming head-first into the wall.

The battle will be kicking the cigarettes once and for all. I was in bed last night coughing, trying to figure out what on earth motivates me to light up anymore. Force of habit, or that's what I came up with. I don't like how they taste, smell, or make me cough. When I think of replacing my morning cigarette and coffee with a jog on the treadmill, I cringe, but I know something will have to replace my normal routine.

So I'm sitting here drinking lemon water and, yes, I am smoking. I'm almost done with this pack and then the patch goes on. I'm not sure how that works with swimming. It might not last a full 24 hours on my body. This is going to require determination.

There is a spider on my deck whom I've named Charlotte. I don't like spiders but I'm not afraid of them, either. As long as something can't fly, I don't worry about it too much. Charlotte is small, not hairy, and has interesting markings on her legs. She's a very determined little spider and I guess that's why I don't have the heart to squish her. I play a cruel game with her. Every day I come out on my deck and see that she has spun a brand new, triangular web in the corner where the fence and the wall meets. Every evening, I burn it down. I don't just do it to be mean. The corner of my deck looks like the Auschwitz of the insect world. It's disgusting. I take my lighter and burn it down, but every night she comes out and does it again. On rare occasions, I spot her peeking out from the corner. She looks up at me, jumps about five feet in the air, and disappears into her little hole. She entertains me.

It's really sort of an epic battle for both of us. She feels compelled to spin her web, capture, and kill, but there is a giant human with a Bic lighter who has other ideas. I get it. I eat healthy, I start exercising, I disguise who I really am with foundation and eyeliner, but there's a giant cream-filled donut waiting to burn me.

In a weird sort of way, I'm pulling for Charlotte. Pin It

The Book of Eli

(SPOILER ALERT: Don't read this if you've never seen "The Book of Eli" and you plan to!)

I'm not much of a movie person. I would much rather sit and jam to music than watch a movie, and when I do I prefer a comedy. However, we watched "The Book of Eli" last night and I was absolutely blown away by its powerful message.

The story takes place after what is referred to as "the flash" and "the war", which one can only assume means a nuclear and/or world war. Very few people survived and the land is barren. Water is a commodity that is traded for other goods because it is so difficult to find.

After the war, only one King James Bible is left in existence and it is entrusted to one man, who has been instructed by God to "go west" and share it with a new, lost world. Those born after the war have never even heard of it. Knowing the entire world was without hope and direction, God places the book in the hands of Eli (Denzel Washington) and promises to protect him from everyone and everything on his journey.

Eli is met with powerful resistance along the way by a thug and his small army who want the Bible to control their city, and to take over control of the rest of the world.

It may seem like I've given away most of the movie, but I assure you... there is so much more to this tale. It is by far one of the deepest movies I have ever seen. There is a lot of violence and profanity, but it is not gratuitous. Unlike many of the overtly "Christian" movies out there, this is true to life. The violence and the profanity showcases both the struggle between good and evil, and, at times, the power and might of God. (Well, maybe not the profanity, but some of the violence.)
It is a reminder that, yes, God loves us, but there will come a day when God will kick evil to the curb in a way that shocks everyone there to see it.

Faced with the decision to give up his copy of the Bible and save his friend, or hang onto it and watch her die, Eli ultimately decides to give to his enemies. He continues west without the book, which his friend cannot understand. When his enemies get back to their base, they discover that the Bible is in braille and only one person there can read it, but she refuses to translate it. His evil empire begins to crumble, with no leader and no biblical authority.

Eli reaches San Francisco and Alcatraz Island, which is no longer a prison but a hub of technology where the few great minds that survived the war are trying to re-start the world. They have copies of most of the great works from "before" - an almost complete set of the Encyclopedia Britannica, Shakespeare, compositions by Mozart, etc. No Bible, however.

Eli read his Bible every day. So when he reaches Alcatraz, he recites the Bible, word for word, verse by verse, as it is copied down onto paper by hand. Eventually, they develop a printing press, and the Bible is copied over and over and distributed the world around.

This movie is a beautiful testament (no pun intended) to the power and hope that is the Word of God.

I am not a movie buff, but this is one flick I will be buying and keeping in my library. I walked away from it cherishing my Bible, and understanding how important it is to know it inside and out, so that it is written on my heart. God's Word doesn't need a leather cover. It just needs a willing person to cling to. Pin It

Yours Truly

Back in 2002, my brother turned me on to blogging. I had never published anything in my life, but I wanted to be a writer, and the idea of instant gratification was very appealing to me.

My first blog was Fidler on the Roof. It became very popular during the 2004 election because I was extremely conservative at the time and blogged for a number of political blogs that drew readers. I also wrote about my painful background and my faith in Christ, and in that same year, I was offered a book contract with Relevant Books, thanks, in part, to my blog.

And, let's be honest. I'm very charming.

My book, Adventures in Holy Matrimony: For the Better or the Absolute Worst, came out in June 2005.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about nine years ago, at the age of 23. I had lost just about everything - I couldn't hold down a job, I was practically a hermit, and my young marriage was falling apart. Sometimes I spent weeks in bed, suicidally depressed; other times, I spent a week or two without any sleep whatsoever - manic and angry. It took about six years to find a combination of medication that truly helped me. I'm happy to say that I rarely have symptoms anymore, and when I do, they are far less frequent and severe. God, my husband, and I saved my marriage (my book is about the first 4 years of our wedded bliss nightmare) and I am a functioning, happy human being.


These days, I'm a freelance writer, wife, and "cat mom." I collect coffee cups and drink too much coffee. I waste time playing Tetris and watching stupid comedies on TV. I decided to abandon reason my day job two-and-a-half years ago to write full-time from home, but quickly discovered that home is the world's most distracting place to work. For about three months out of the year, I try to convince myself and the rest of the world that I am athletic and physically fit. I love nature in small doses. My favorite food is anything I don't have to cook.

This blog is about all of that, plus some other stuff. I want Christians to understand mental illness. In my experience, many of them don't. I hope this blog will be a teaching tool and a support for those that suffer, and those that love them.

But this is also where I write about the crazy things that happen to me. Everyone says that crazy things happen to them, but trust me... crazy things happen to *me*. Read on. See for yourself. Have a laugh at my expense.

Blog on, my friends.

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Comfy In My Own Skin

Ever since I went to see Amy Grant in concert on August 1, I've been a little lost. Hearing her songs live, and shaking her hand backstage reminded me of another time and another place in my life. I was 18 years old, a college freshman in Nashville, and a wannabe songwriter.

It was the best time of my life, and the worst time of my life. I was a star-struck teenager living in a big city for the first time. Like most college kids, I found my share of trouble and did my fair share of stupid stuff. I loved Nashville - the city itself - and had a number of once-in-a-lifetime experiences there.

I dropped out of college that first year and moved back to Pennsylvania, intending to go back permanently as soon as I was financially able. A year after moving home, I was good to go. I was about to start packing my brand new luggage when I met the man who would become my husband, and that fast, all of my plans changed.

I wanted to move back to Nashville after we got married, but Scott wanted nothing of it. I had a choice to make, and I chose love. I chose the husband, the house with the white picket fence, and the kids running around in the yard. Or so I thought.

It wasn't long after we got married that our marriage began to fall apart. Through many years and much hard work, we pieced it back together and made it beautiful again. Ten years into this life together, we are going strong. But we don't have the house and the white picket fence. We have the apartment with the unidentifiable bugs on the deck and the crazy ghetto neighbors. Parenthood has eluded us, as well. Maybe it always will.

So I've found myself thinking about the past, wondering what it might have been like if I had chosen Nashville over Scott. Would I have become a successful songwriter? Would I have plenty of money to play with, fewer worries, and more fun? It has been a long time since I really yearned for Nashville. Ever since seeing Amy... I have been.

Then, Scott pulled me close to him last night and said, "You're my girl." I knew then and there, I am where I am supposed to be.

People trade in love for all kinds of stupidity. They trade in commitment for the easy way out. Usually they trade it in for what could have been, or what they perceive life could be like in the future. One by one they crumble. It could have been us. It almost happened to us.

I could have packed up and left everything behind. The marital problems, the financial problems, the crappy jobs, everything. Had I done that, I would have missed out on the satisfaction of having fought it out with my husband and, in the end, won. I would have traded a terrible marriage in before it had the chance to blossom into something beautiful.

No town or "dream" is worth such a loss.
So I am comfortable here, where I am, at this very moment, in my own skin. I would not trade a thing. Pin It