Monday, November 15, 2010

When is it *OK* to Inflate Your Yard?

If I weren't such a nice person, I'd say "NEVER" and leave it at that, but I've gotten a few comments on my last post from people insisting their children want inflatable yard thingies in the yard this Christmas. How do I respond? First, I would like to ask you, simply:

Do you want your child to grow up to be this?

Or do you want your child to grow up to be this?

The choice is yours. Would you put moonshine in your kids' sippy cups? Of course not. Don't settle!

There are some cases in which inflatable yard thingies might be considered acceptable. I don't expect people in wheelchairs to climb their roof with lights. Midgets with a fear of heights might also get a free pass. If you live in the middle of nowhere, go for it; we won't see it anyway. Living in a trailer park is no excuse. I've seen lots of nice trailer parks. Set an example for the rest of the park dwellers and skip baby balloon Jesus. Elderly people, also, might be exempt. Even in these situations, I would say skip the air pump and hang a wreath.

I hope this sheds some light on the DOs and DON'Ts of inflatable Christmas yard thingies. Now get out there and start stapling 25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights to your roof! Pin It

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